Lieberman's List of Demands

This just in-Joe Lieberman has announced his intention to filibuster healthcare reform, regulatory reform, judicial nominees, cap and trade, and simple procedural votes unless he receives a puppy, a slice of cheesecake with cherries, a Playstation 3, NCAA Football 2010 to go with his new Playstation 3, a Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster, and Beyonce's album "I Am...Sasha Fierce" from the Democratic caucus. Harry Reid has stated that he will meet with Lieberman on Monday and immediately provide each and every item on Lieberman's outlandish and illogical list of demands. Vice President Biden, when asked for comment, responded with mild disbelief. "Seriously? What the *&%$ is going on in the Senate? What's next? Does he want his face carved in Mount Rushmore as well? Can somebody explain to me why that horse's ass hasn't been kicked out of the caucus? I don't even...I'm just so...Mother%$#*ing corporate *^&#sucking lobbyist *@&#bag! I'm taking a personal day tomorrow! No, no, seriously, have Michelle explain to him why I'm more than a little frustrated. This is bull*&^%! If I wanted to work for a white collar crime syndicate, I'd be a Republican. Unbelievable!"